Diary entry

This morning I've woke up with only one thing in my mind: I'll stay in my bedroom, drinking my mint lemonde with lots of ice cubes in it and just sit, watch 90210 or just randomly write stuff down. It was a quite Saturday. With all the things that are happening lately, I can say I needed this little quiet time of my own, without being interrupted at all by anyone. Don't you just love this kind of days? When you can just relax, take your time and do whatever you want to. As I said, I didn't have any pressure on me so I guess I got a lot of time to think. I looked around me and I asked myself if this is how I imagined my life when I was just a 5 year-old kid. It obviously wasn't. Technically, none of my wishes came true. Well...except for the one when I asked for a princcess dress. That one really became true and damn, I loved it :) But now, getting back to the subject... My life was not what I was dreaming about, it's right, but I do kind of wonder if this is actually better than I wished for. It's true, there are lots of things I miss and I would love to have, but maybe, there is actually a reason for everything. Not much time ago, I've been judged way too harder than I imagined someone could judge. My way of thinking... it might be different, it's true. I agree I may have a lot of different opinions than you and yes, the word that comes to your mind right now would be "weird", but once again, remember, if someone is different than who you are, that doesn't mean they're weird. And I am not saying that just because. I couldn't believe that someone can judge another person and actually not to be constient of that. It was amazing. Here I was, standing there and thinking to myself: this is it, the fact that I was pretending to be constient of, but actually really afraid of was hell true... People do really judge and they do really judge hard. They use your weakness and then turn it against you. If there is one thing I have learned in this 14 years is to never trust anyone with your life. It sounds like a clichee, but believe me, I have experienced it for a long time and living in a house where lying was given as breakfast, I do really know what I'm saying. Don't ever let anyone bring you down, don't ever let anything fall you off apart. You are amazing the way you were born. Remember, every human being is not born for no reason and what you need to do with your life is to find out what that reason is and to accomplish it. You do only get one shot, so use it and make your world what you want it to be, not what others say it should be. Remember, it's your life here in your hands. If you want to make it right, you got to stand up for yourself.

To dream - to achieve, by Nadd Hu

Today I have chosen to share my opinion about dreams, people and life in general, as much as I got to experience it.

From what I know, dreaming is that time when you can escape from the usual routine and fly away with your thoughts. Your dreams are your aspirations. You imagine how it would be if you could do things that in your daily life are more or less impossible. Dreaming is probably our only way to get away, feeling imaginary emotions that maybe, for less than a second, gives us a well-needed hope.

We dream all the time, with our eyes wide open or most of the times, while sleeping. From what I have read, a dream is a succession of images, thoughts, sounds, or emotions which pass through the mind during sleep. The content and purpose of dreams are not fully understood, though they have been a topic of speculation and interest throughout recorded history. So, as you can see, scientists can’t really tell what dreams truly are and how they appear in our sleep.

But dreams are not just those images that appear in your head in your sleep. To me, dreams are so much more. They are your possibility to imagine how your life would be if, for example, you haven’t done a mistake you regret or for change, you did something that you wish you have done. You can also dream about your future, imagine how you and your life will look in 10 years. Some say that if you believe in your dreams, they will come true. And I deeply believe in that saying because as I look around, I see people that had enough faith to believe in their dreams and now, they finally achieved it.

Michael Jackson said once : “In a world filled with hate, we must still dare to hope. In a world filled with anger, we must still dare to comfort. In a world filled with despair, we must still dare to dream. And in a world filled with distrust, we must still dare to believe.”

My dreams are my imaginary life. My desire to understand the people around me who judge with no reason and leave words behind that may hurt is really hard. Weirdness and normalcy are two facts that I can’t really understand, or at least I can’t understand people’s perspective about them. They think that weirdness is just the opposite of normalcy, but what normal means to them?! Just because someone is how it is it doesn’t mean he’s weird. People are all different from others and if in your opinion, someone is weird just because they are different from you then guess what. There are never two people that will have exactly the same opinions. So if you want to take it this way, then you’re right, everyone else is weird and you are the only one left normal.

Everyday I get to hear someone saying "you’re weird" or "you know, let's try to make it as normal as it could be". As I look around me I only see people judging you for the way you look, you’re dressed or you think. Why can’t people just accept you as you are? It’s obvious that the term of "normalcy" doesn't fit for everyone. This is what I'd like to show and make you understand. Telling others that some things are "normal" doesn't mean that for them, it actually is. And If they keep the silence, it doesn’t mean that's the way they actually feel. What I'd really like is that some people would understand the fact that If you look different, doesn't mean you're some kind of freak. Many people don't understand Lady Gaga, but what she really wants to tell people is that she did not fit in high school and she always looked different, but actually all she wants is that every single "freak" around the world will find a place of understanding in her person. So let's try not to judge everyone around you because, someway, somehow, something deep inside them is just like you, and me.

It’s time to make your world what you want it to be, not what other people think it should be. Tell them it’s yours. Stop asking for advice to anyone but God. It is your way to be what you always wanted. Teenage is that part of life when you get to take decisions that will haunt you for the rest of your life. Isn’t that just lovely ? I’m just afraid that I will loose myself to the world around me, taking some decisions just because everyone else is doing it. By doing that you are contributing to the disaster this world is heading to. The Earth is sick, with a fever we gave it. So, don’t be afraid to follow your dreams and to believe in them because as long as you still have the right to do it, there is nothing else that stops you.

In the end, one of my biggest dreams is that people will start being less judgemental and more friendly and tolerant. I wish that this world’s biggest issues will disappear, such as racism and discrimination. Most people say that the future is already written in the stars...we say it’s written all over us.




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How?!

How do you let go the past? How can you even live the present moment when all you’re thinking about is that summer day when you went out together, had the best time and laughed, but then, nothing else happened, realising that he is just not that into you. How do you go further when all you want is to go back in time so you could repair some mistakes you did, some words that you should’ve leave unspoken? We are all wondering why that, why so, why this... but why do we bother so much for people who don’t give a sh*t on what you think? How?!

Mistakes, changes, dreams and life (1)

The mistakes I made, made my life. What I am made myself. Everyone around me made what I am and when people go, I change. When people say things that will bring you to your knees, you’ll change. Change is something that makes our lives what they are. We do not know how, or when, but it helps us grow.

My perspective of change may be different from yours. To me, it is life. It is the fact that you care about other people and when they hurt you, you try to understand, but they would not allow you, so you move on, you learn how to say ’no’, you change. You learn how to care about some other people and when they hurt you... well you move on, you change. Life is about changes. It is always like this. You can always surrender, run away, learn how to speak some other language and just get away, break away. People WILL judge you, that’s for sure. That’s what people do. They judge. They share their opinions. It’s a free world, you can always share your thoughts. It may hurt you. Positive thinking is just a lie you tell yourself and to other people saying „it will be fine, be happy”, without even thinking about the words you just said. This will bring you down. Will bring you so down that you will wake up tomorrow morning saying „everything is a lie, so what is this all about? Isn’t this just a lie I live?”. It probably is, we do not know. But it does help us grow.

Too close, too far

It's like no matter what you do, it's wrong. You try to make everyone happy, but sooner or later you realize that is just impossible. But the question goes on like "Whose happiness is more important? Theirs or yours?". Too close, too far from the answer. It feels like you know and then buf, it's gone, you don't know it anymore. People around are weird. All with their own opinions. Even best friends have different points of view sometimes. At this moment I am left speechless. And that is kind of weird 'cause usually it's hard to make me shut. I would love it if life had an instruction book so you could know what you should do. Some say this life is just a little bite of happiness from the real happiness which is Heaven. If you believe in God, you believe in this. And I just hope we will all find the way to it.

Neahh! Choose "HAPPINESS"

It's funny how people can choose the way they want to feel. Never thought about that, ah? Some people get really sad, almost depressive. And it's contagious! Now you're probably thinking how can someone choose how they want to feel. It's actually simple. If everything around you is full of sadness and nothing seems quite good for you, don't give up! Try to smile! You never know what happens next. Just with a positive way of thinking about today, and tomorrow, you can win so much! Don't be sad! People don't need sad faces around them. Stay chill, relax and be happy. This is what summer is for! Smileee everyone!

"I'm going to find a way to make it, without you."